I attended medical school 3 years ago and ever since I feel trapped , I can’t function or cope with other students although they seem to know what they’re doing and I just can’t bear to look at the books so I failed last year and this year I have the same problem . I am not brave enough to drop out the school and choose another career because it’s my mom’s dream and she is the one who made me choose medicine at the first place , but at the same time I can’t succeed or study either and I know it’s my fault but I don’t know what to do because I tried my best to succeed in it but I just couldn’t , Sometimes I think about running from everything but I just ..I am just scared …I think I am a weak person.
I did’t learn any lesson because I am still in this trap but the main thing I learned that I should do what makes me happy no matter will people think just follow my heart and great things will happen .. I just wish I am strong enough to do it .
This is your life. You are your own person. Parents love to live vicariously through there children because it is the nature of generations to mature and become more complex than the generations before them. We are all hard on ourselves and when we have kids we hope they can live more fulfilling life especially than we did. But this is a trap. It prevents parents from seeing that their child is not the person they expected them to be. So they impose the lessons they think will be best for the child and fail to recognize and honor the true essence of the child. This is done with “best intentions” but it’s still a mistake.
So I ask you: Who are you? Do you know your Self? Do you sense that there are two versions of you? Maybe like me, and probably most everyone else, there is the You that you were born as, a pure unadulterated self. Then there is the version of you that was learned through socialization learned as your parents, friends, and teachers told you what success meant. Again, they were trying to help you, but they failed to realize that you need to define success for yourself. Your challenge is to recognize who you were born as, your innate drives and desires, and distinguish them from the drives and desires that others told you to follow.
I believe that when you live in accordance with your Self you will know strength. I say “know strength” because it will emanate from your core. It will be effortless. You will no longer be “trying to be strong” you simple will be strong, because you will be on YOUR path. And people find vigor when they understand how to live for themselves. Ironically, service to others is the other half of that equation for vigor, but don’t worry about that part until after you know your Self. I’m confident, from the way you write and your thoughtfulness, that service to others won’t elude you. Focus on you for now, you’ve given enough away already.
Sincerely and with love,
I realize this is an old post, but I hoped you found your path. I started many different careers trying to find one that fits me. It was tough, and in fact, I’m still trying to carve out my path.
I have a degree that I don’t really use because I choose it thinking that’s where I “belonged.” And to be honest, I wasted my money. I think you are brave and strong because you admitted to not liking what you were doing. Thank you for the admission. It makes us all feel like we are not alone.
Very courageous. I can relate to what you wrote. It must have taken a lot to say enough is enough.
I am here to cheer for the new paths, trials, and getting up and try and try again.